May 2013
103 posts
shutupaubrey:
i’m funnier in real life but also uglier
Watch
tupacabra:
when my mom was pregnant she would put a walkman up to her stomach and play cher’s greatest hits and she apologizes for it every day because she thinks that’s what made me gay
shutupaubrey:
team “i wore this yesterday but i’m going to a different place so it doesn’t matter”
hungarian:
it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
hurricane-emily:
jimgaffigan:
Ladies I hope getting your nails done feels good because not a single man notices you got them done.
maybe
just maybe
women do some things for themselves and not just for men
what a concept
“As a Muslim, I’m sick of people asking me how I feel about 9/11. What do you...”
– Aman Ali (via princessbindi)
cockchomp:
she wears short skirts i wear short skirts we are sailor soldiers and in the name of the moon we will punish you
“please grab your homework on your way out of class”
sloth-grunge:
do you think if i die now i’ll have enough time to be reincarnated as kim kardashians baby
romulusthread:
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
tyleroakley:
zombiegenocidest:
ACCURATE.
dankestrnemes:
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
